A god deposed / do the tears flow from your eyes?
Head resting on the ground / sorrow at our parting?
No more adoration/ the heat of passion is now cool indifference, but
Feeling sadness for what will never be/ feeling sadness for what was
Your perspective has changed / you head toward the distant horizon, considering
You look toward clouds charcoal-hued/ stormy-browed
Like dark feathers stealing across the sky / full of thunder
And cry immutable tears/ without hope
This is in response to Jane Dougherty’s Poetry Challenge. This week Jane asked us to use the charcoal drawing above (“Tears” by Odilon Redon) and all or some of these words: tears, horizon, fly, hue, stealing. I wrote a cleave poem: each side is a discrete poem, but the two sides can also be read together–so three poems in all.
Yesterday and today: Merril's historical musings 
I’d describe this poem as majestic. Awe-inspiring images.
Wow! Thank you so much, Jane!
I liked it a lot 🙂
🙂
That first line is so striking. And I love the mixing and matching of “god-like” and human characteristics across the two halves of the poem (especially “stormy-browed” and “full of thunder” on the right).
Thank you, Jennifer. That drawing reminded me of one of those giant statues where the head has been knocked off, and then that first line came to me. 🙂
well more than splendid cleave poem – the three poems each resonate yet at the same time sweep around and add another layer to the other two.
Thanks so much, Doug!
This is a wonderful take on the prompt, all around.
Thank you very much!
Bravo! You are such an amazing talent. This is truly magic, and what a fabulous concept. Thank you.
Thank you for your very kind words!
Very cool, Merril. You did a great job with such a difficult prompt!
Thanks, Luanne. The prompt was really just the painting and/or the words.
And you purposely made it more difficult, Merril. Is that a character trait ;)? Beautiful work.
Hahaha. Thanks, Luanne!
The cleave form works so well here. I love the dark feathers stealing across the sky. (K)
Thanks, Kerfe! 🙂
Still marveling at, not one, but three poems reminding us about a darkness that must be averted.
Thank you, Ken. That’s very kind.
Three words: A-MA-ZING! Okay, it’s really just one word with three syllables, but you know what I mean. I’ve never heard of a cleave poem before, but WOW! The idea itself is really cool, but you definitely rocked it as well as the challenge. Great job! ❤
Hi Rachel! Thank you so much! I hope you’re doing well.
I really enjoyed this…all 3 times I read it.
Thanks so much!
so different from other poems inspired by the same prompt – really love the cleave form – will have to try that myself – reminds me a bit of my own freyan verse!
Thank you so much! I really like this form, too.
This is intense and amazing. I’ve read it over and over again. Powerful!
Thank you so much!!
Thank you so much!
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This poem flows so well in all three versions. A favourite image is of clouds like dark feathers stealing across the sky. I am also impressed that you were able to incorporate the head position facing down close to the earth. I drew a blank when trying to feel that aspect.
Thank you, Janet. The head down made me think the god deposed line first–the rest came after that.