Photo by MKcray (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons
On this brave new world, I watch the sky,
scintillating stars, and glowing moons
they shine, these three, brightly, so clearly.
At day’s end, the suns set in the north
and rise in the south, over red seas.
It’s not yet home, but almost, nearly.
On this brave new world, there is no war,
and I would feel content, yet regret
I left her, who I loved so dearly.
This poem is in response to Jane Dougherty’s poetry challenge. The poem is a new poetry form, the trilune, which Jane invented. She explains it this way:
“A trilune is a poem of three stanzas of three lines of 3×3 syllables each (that’s 9 in case you were wondering), circling a central theme. The rhyme is on the third line of each stanza so you get a pattern of abc dec fgc.”
The prompt was the photo above.
Well done.
Thank you! 🙂
What Michael said 🙂
Thanks! 🙂
evocative, lovely … gains and losses with rising and setting of sun – and moon – comes to mind thank you!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Susan!
I’m noting the time you replied – today the 11th … at 11.11 a.m.
That’s funny, Susan. I’m not sure what time zone that is. It was probably more like 6:11 A.M. here.
Is there a significance regarding the construction of the trilune (numerically speaking)? Three and nine (being three threes) are ‘sacred’ numbers in Celtic mythology and other traditions. Interesting form and lovely poem. Enjoyed reading.
Thank you very much! Jane came up with the form, so I don’t know the answer to your question. I think it’s an interesting form, too. 🙂
Poignant. (K)
Thank you, Kerfe.
Nice!
I’d war for three moons any night.
Oops!
Of course that’s “trade war for three moons” !!
Hahaha. That is a bit different. 🙂
I saw the other comment first, so I don’t have to wonder. 😉
Aww, Merril. The moon, travels yet no war made me feel this was bittersweet. He will hold her in his heart as she will him. 🙂
I hope so, Robin. 🙂 Thanks!
I hope he will come back to her. Funny, I got an image of that line from “Cold Mountain,” which was such a great movie about strong women waiting for their men to come home, with Nicole Kidman and Renee Zwelleger. Your poem was very thought provoking. Why did he leave her? . . .
The book is wonderful, too. You know it’s the based on the legend of Odysseus, but including the women’s view. I guess men going off to war or for adventure goes back to ancient times. I think this man was either forced to leave earth because of problems there, or else he was simply an adventurer who decided to do so. I’m not sure which one. 🙂
Lovely. 🙂
Thank you, Robin. 🙂
It amazes me to see all the new poetic forms emerging here. The forms I remember in my lit classes were very pedestrian by contrast: blank verse, sonnets, villanelles – that’s about it. A trilune – how romantic!
It does seem like new poetry forms are emerging all the time. I liked this one by Jane, and it’s a very new invention–just this week. 🙂
I like this feeling that the speaker is trying to look on the bright side…it all starts so positively with “scintillating” and ends with the poignant regret.
Thank you, Jennifer. I started it not really knowing where it was going to go. 🙂
It’s beyond cool that Jane invented a whole new poetic form! I really like the rhythm of the trilune too. Your poem worked so well within it.
Thank you very much for stopping by and leaving such a wonderful comment!
You’re very welcome. I liked the poem (and the new form). 🙂
I like the yearning in your words…
Thank you very much!
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Beautiful as always, Merril!
Thank you very much, Louise! 🙂