I paddle slowly. The river wanders like my thoughts, meandering, unhurried. The water forms patterns, sparkling ribbons that dance with the breeze’s soft kiss. The breeze smells of earth, water, and of greenery sprouting and blooming, the scent of life and promise. I watch a great egret perform a sun salutation. A turtle on a moving branch floats by, a surfer hanging ten. I see fish swimming just beneath the glimmering surface of the water. Their silver scales catch the light, as they twirl in an aquatic ballet. This river has been my place of dreams, my place for dreaming. I say goodbye.
The blue planet fades
soon only a memory
carried in my heart
adrift, sailing through star seas
scarcely feeling the shockwaves
I am in a tiny vessel hurtling through the vast universe. I am sad and scared–but filled with wonder. Though I think of Earth, remember the sun-glowed river, it is like a dream. The stars call to me. I’ve awakened, and I listen.
This is my first attempt at a haibun. Colleen Chesebro provides an outstanding explanation of the form, if you are interested. The prompt words were earth and water.
Most excellent.
Thank you, Ken. I was trying to channel a bit of your kayaking experiences in the first part. 😉
🙂 And you were successful!
🙂
Did you meet Major Tom? Gorgeous haibun, Merril. It weaves a beautiful picture, river, clouds, stars, lovely!
Thanks so much, Jane. I wasn’t sure if I was doing the haibun correctly. I’m glad you liked it.
Yes, Major Tom was floating in a most peculiar way, and the stars definitely looked very different. 😉
I’m no expert, but it read beautifully to me.
Thank you. 🙂
Merill! This is amazing. From what I’ve read about the Haibun form, it is the “twist” that really makes the poem come to life. Your Haibun did just that. The end is the kicker and makes the reader see the memories from the first lines of prose. WOW! ❤
Thank you very much, Colleen! I was trying to make each more relate without revealing too much–so I’m glad it worked. 🙂
You did excellent!!! ❤
Thank you! 🙂
watching, listening – the world and its wonders – I’ve never heard of a Haibun but it is clearly creative .. thank you –
Thank you, Susan.
There are various combinations of prose and poetry for the form, which I did not realize until I read Colleen’s excellent description.
Reblogged this on rivrvlogr and commented:
In her dreams, she paddles to the stars.
Thank you very much!
You’re welcome. 🙂
Rip roaring river-ingly riveting and glorious. I laughed at Jane’s comment about “Major Tom.” But I think it may be your soul talking – I felt like it was my soul talking and listening at the same time.
Now, I need to go learn about the Haibun. xo
What a kind, funny, and glorious comment, Pam. Thank you very much!
xo – spoken from the heart. You truly do ‘feel’ like I do…
❤
I like the different patterns within this writing, Merril. It does seem reminiscent in the beginning with senses full. I like the way you described how Spring smells~ earth, water, greenery, life, and promise. I felt this captured essence of freshly moistened ground and grass.
As the earth closes down, it will still have purpose as it glides out into the “star seas.” Beautifully written with a nod to certain urgency in our existence.
Thanks so much, Robin. “Nod to certain urgency in our existence” is a good way to put it. 🙂 I’m glad you liked this!
I love this. It reminds me of the few kayak trips I’ve been out on, and made me feel as though I was there on the water again. Beautiful. 🙂
I’m so glad I was able to capture the experience–or the essence of it anyway, Robin. Thank you!
Lovely, peaceful piece, Merril.
Thank you very much, Robert. I’m glad you liked it.
I, too, thought of Major Tom. Ha!
I’m glad you did. 🙂
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I remember that sweet turtle on the log! Beautiful, expressive words with a profound sense of sadness, as well.
You remember the turtle? Thanks so much, Rose.
Beautiful and dreamy poem. I was swept away.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I’m so happy that you were swept away by my poem!