The Glue of Love and Time

Monday Morning Musings:

“for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one.”

Albert Einstein, in a letter, after the death of his friend, Michele Besso

To time we’re young

a blush over morning

brilliance that fades

repeating through years

and generations

 

Words sail through space,

bubble like champagne,

like the thoughts shared by friends over wine

through time

What is the glue, she asks,

that binds us,

that holds us together

some friends, but not all

over distance and years?

 

I have no answers,

the universe is a mystery

the dazzling beauty

of the night sky in June

the rhythms of nature and time

sometimes it comes together

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Heritage Vineyards Mullica Hill, New Jersey

other times though,

there is confusion and contradiction

the day that changes from sun to rain

and back again

we walk through city streets

see a bride and groom

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smell the scent of rain-damp flowers

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get caught in the next downpour

nature is confused

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We watch a movie

of family and history,

and family history

a mystery

life, death, survival

hiding underground

and then burying the secrets

the sins of the father

haunt him and his children

like ghosts

spirits that rise from graves

there is jealousy, too,

and sister-love

and music

some also underground

circling

becoming the means to an end

to forgive

to heal

 

We walk through crowds of people celebrating Philly Pride Day

rainbow flags on display

(people, too)

have dinner at a bar

then on to see a play

a musical

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another tale of family secrets

the father has a hidden life

(some boys, some underage)

many in the audience chuckle knowingly

watching his daughter coming of age

coming to know herself

and, of course, I remember

(not a letter)

but the phone call,

the funny, memorable, filled-with-laughter phone call

from my daughter

not that it’s a surprise

not that it changes anything for me

though it changes her world

and it must have been a scary call for her

and she must have sighed with relief afterward,

but love is love is love

and all I want is for my daughters to be happy

the show has more secrets

and more tragedy

and three versions of Alison—

not separated–

past, farther past, and present–

existing at the same time,

as it does within our minds

 

It is Father’s Day,

my father is gone for many years

I think of the secrets he must have had

the life before children

I see old photos of him

younger hims I never knew

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I can’t talk to him,

or I could,

but he can’t answer me

not in words that I can hear

perhaps in dreams

or illusions

or in a bending of time

still there are bonds, love,

glue that binds us

despite secrets

despite not knowing

he lives in my heart and mind–

is he gone–or not?

 

Welsh Cookies

I made Welsh Cookies–called Daddy Cookies at our house–for my husband for Father’s Day.

 

We saw the movie Past Life, an Israeli movie set in 1977 in Israel, Germany, and Poland.  Trailer here.  We saw the musical Fun Home, based on Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel. It won five Tony Awards in 2015. Here’s the Tony Awards performance.

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33 thoughts on “The Glue of Love and Time

  1. Oh the joy of Monday morning, or afternoon my time, and cathcing your musings. This one brought me to happy tears too; the phone call, your daughter and that unforgettable quote; Love is Love is Love. I imagine she did sigh with such relief afterwards. Thanklfully, for the lucky ones, Parents are Parents are Parents… xx

    • Thank you, Damien. Wouldn’t it be lovely if it really wasn’t an issue at all? And why should it be? I really do believe love is love is love. I love that my daughters have love–and we have a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law.

  2. A beautiful rendition of Love Merril thank you – quite quite lovely, the photos too. I wonder about the glue that sticks and binds and when it’s good it’s very very good. Even invisible …

  3. I used to have a tube of glue, invisible according to the label, kind of like family glue – can’t always see it but you know it’s there.

    A few days ago, we viewed some slides Aunt Ruthie took when they drove from PA to our wedding in Charlotte, NC. I got a behind-the-scenes glimpse of all I never saw: loading up the car trunk with funny-looking suitcases, my sister acting goofy, guests I didn’t remember attending the wedding. Heart-warming reminiscence, like yours.

  4. Lots of lovelies in here today, Merril! What are Daddy cookies? About Fun HOme: I haven’t seen it but had to video my daughter doing an audition (when she came to visit and her agent was upset she wasn’t in the city) for Fun Home, and I had to read the other character’s lines :). I thought we both did fabulous ;), but the casting agent never opened the video file to look!

    • Thanks so much, Luanne. Daddy Cookies are Welsh Cookies. They’re not too sweet, flavored with nutmeg and currants, cooked on a griddle, like pancakes. My husband’s family has always made them. Mommy Cookies at our house are my Mandelbrot.
      Too bad about the casting agent not even opening the file. I’m sure you were both fabulous. 😉 If your daughter ever does a show in Philadelphia, you better let me know!

      • Oh, I definitely would! Yes, we were fabulous. Perhaps me especially. hahahahaha
        I’m sure both your cookies are delicious. I’ve never heard of the Welsh ones. I’d like to try those, but I never bake anything anymore that isn’t gluten free :(.

      • I like using baking recipes that are made for gluten free flour because I am not a wiz at baking. Different chemistry depending on the flour. All that.

  5. It is definitely all a mystery. My father has come to me in dreams, and my maternal grandmother, (but not my mother). But I speak to them all, sometimes, feeling like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.
    I loved the Fun Home book. We all think everyone else is “normal” but really all lives are secret lives. (K)

  6. Family ties bind us no matter who has passed and who is living. You’ve written an amazing poem with references to the loves of your life. Even your yummy cookies evoke family love, Merril! Delicious.

  7. I love the way you create a package and it is so lovingly wrapped and wonderfully wrought. It holds long-time friends, a movie, a play and the special relief to know love is much more than acceptance~ it is everything! The pretty rainbow 🌈 parade was here in Columbus and Father’s Day meant a gift for my son, a wonderful Daddy, and another gift for my soon to be son in law who loves my daughter and her two sons.
    I liked the way you spoke of your father, Merril.

      • It was nice to see a young photo of your father and it is always interesting to read about friend’s parents who were never met before.
        I appreciate what you expressed about the two men in my grandchildren’s lives.

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