Horizon–Pantoum

Sunset_on_the_Sea_MET_DT226485

John Frederick Kensett, Sunset on the Sea,” Wikipedia Commons

 

At the horizon, known and unknown meet,

this liminal space between sky and sea

when the sun dips down, and night not complete

where dreams are unleashed and left to dance free–

 

this liminal space between sky and sea,

in this place, past and future meld and dwell,

where dreams are unleashed and left to dance free

we hover here, and fall under its spell.

 

In this place, past and future meld and dwell,

dreams sigh spindrift over the sand. Enthralled,

we hover here, and fall under its spell

as tall ships vanish, beyond shouts and call.

 

What might fate foretell here–our joys and fears

when the sun dips down, and night not complete?

Do we seek, question, wait for what appears

at the horizon? Known and unknown meet.

 

 

Gina is hosting the next dVerse form, the Pantoum.  Her post explains the history and mechanics of the form.

This a re-working of one I wrote about a year ago. This poem was inspired by a post by Frank of A Frank Angle. I borrowed my first line from him. Thanks, Frank!  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

69 thoughts on “Horizon–Pantoum

  1. I so very much love this, Merril.
    Methinks this is a genre I shall not even come close to contemplating trying!
    Frank is going to be totally chuffed that you were inspired by one of his beach walks!
    So beautifully done. (I know, I know, I’m gushing…)

  2. lovely and grand all rolled over and over. you grasp it well! in my humble opinion yoyr final line in each stanza would sound a lot more melodic if it were shortened to give it an anchor to the stanza. the rhymes are beautifully crafted but loses a little bit of power when the last line is atad long. i love your ruminations, your pantoum is perfect in content, carrying thoughts like waves coming to shore. one i will visit again for sure Merril, good luck on the next one (if you are writing one!)

      • i hope it was helpful, i am no expert but the pantoum is much like a song, no meter but there is a rhythm, you had it in the first 3 lines but it got pulled out too far in the last, if that makes sense…LOL! i went over mine many times to get the feel just right. listening to the flower drum song and also reading the other examples brought me back to the core of its rhythm. its a really strong pantoum Merril, well done.

  3. The message is the thing, and that is clarion. This form is tricky. As I read, I felt it was within the realm of Pantoum, though it deviated from some of the parameters. But who knows what Bjorn will choose for the book; grin.

  4. I like how you change the punctuation at the end.And oh yes….the horizon can be seen as a place of mystery — of dreams. I smiled at the line about the ship. When you think that mariners and mapmakers of old thought the earth was flat and that one might simply sail over the edge….:)

  5. I like the change in rhythm with the change in line lengths myself. It provides a pause in the dance. And what a wonderful dance it is! the sky meeting the sea…(K)

  6. I love the blurring of known and unknown at the horizon, Merril, ‘where dreams are unleashed and left to dance free’ – you’ve unleashed the sky in this Pantoum! I especially enjoyed the lines:
    ‘In this place, past and future meld and dwell,
    dreams sigh spindrift over the sand’.

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